He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
