I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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