Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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