And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize