CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
