There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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