Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
