i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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