i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
