The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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