Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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