I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
