I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize