you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
