you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
