Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Randomize
