i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
