The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
3 2 1 whiskey
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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