I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
