I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
