WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Randomize
