Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i wish my penis had a tongue
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Randomize
