you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
i think im in europe. pls send help
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
