Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You ate ashes out of my bong
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
