I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
