Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
