I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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