he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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