Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Randomize