Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
