Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
