my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize
