Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
