im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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