can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
