i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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