Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
