We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
