if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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