No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
