My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
