Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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