Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
