Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
