i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
