Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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