I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
