"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
