She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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