also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
