We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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