Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
