i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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