I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
