the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
My feet surprised me
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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