I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
