Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
As shirtless as possible
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
