I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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