If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
