Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
