i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
